Finished my paper...

Well, I have finally completed my application form for The Guardian. I finished the last section earlier today, and to be honest, I am quite relieved. I had to type an example review on some piece of entertainment, the kind of review that I would be writing on a more frequent basis if I was to get hired. I'm relieved solely because I finished the piece, not because I'm satisfied with it. Although my writing has improved dramatically in the past year, it has merely improved on a superficial level. Sure, my vocabulary has grown, my grammar improved, and my overall control of tone more noticeable, but these are all relatively minor and insignificant compared with the other major aspects of writing that I still need to work on. For one, I still write in a voice that I wish to be heard in. I still want to try and sound like Anthony Lane, or Michael Dirda, or Joan Didion, and I don't believe this sort of strategy ever really works. In other words, I still need to find my own voice. But finding this "own voice" of yours is much more difficult than I thought. When I speak, the voice comes naturally, and the personality, too. But, when I try to transfer that personality onto the page, it becomes much more difficult. Why is that? I'm not sure. I wonder why I can't communicate in the written word with the grace that I display when speaking. It's a tricky issue, but I'm sure it's an issue that many writers face. Perhaps I should read more memoirs by different writers. I mean, the only book I do not own of Dirda's is his memoir. Why is that? I guess I just find reviews more interesting to read than memoirs. But, memoirs are the genre that, by nature, allow the most room for empathy. I would hope that the writer is intentionally writing with the hope that someone could relate with them. You don't think like that when writing critcism. It's a completely different animal.